I finally have a second to compose my thoughts about these last few days, which by the way are pretty jumbled and sleep deprived so here it goes,
Oaklee broke her leg in two places Wednesday morning. It was going to be her first day of preschool. Clothes were laid out on the bed, backpack was waiting by the door, Bridger was snoring in his car seat. We were so ready, and then, just as I was coming into the bathroom to do Oak's hair I heard a scream I will never forget. I ran to her and in a blur I found her in a lump on the floor holding her leg and literally turning purple. I held her in my arms and tried to sooth her as best as I could. I thought maybe she twisted her ankle or had a bad bonk. I gave her Motrin, and for a bit she seemed okay. She wanted to lay in my bed and watch little bear, so we did. But when the Motrin wore off and I tried to stand her up, I knew something terrible had happened. Nothing could have prepared me for what the Insta Care doctor said while holding an x-ray into the artificial light. I only really heard "It's bad" and "possibly surgery." We left the insta care in the pouring rain and purple splint. My poor sweet heart (who had a broken leg for about 6 hours before receiving any real pain medicine) was moaning in her sleep as we pulled into our driveway. Tears rolled down my cheeks like the rain on the car window. After a few doses of her pain medicine, and about 3 in the morning, she finally drifted into a restless painful sleep. My heart literally hurts for her. I want nothing more than to trade places and have me in the purple splint moaning in pain. It is the most horrible feeling. Ever. I know these things happen but I can't help but feel guilty. I can say one thing for certain. She is my hero. She has been so brave and, for lack of a better word, precious. She looks at me with those melt your heart blue eyes and says "I broke my knee huh mom, if I could get up I would just get a band aid, but I can walk, so I can't get a band aid. I just need a little break, then I will feel better." My hero.