Sunday, May 11, 2008




Reflection*
Looking back at my past year, and being Mothers day and all, I can't help but be floored at the amazing changes that have happened in my life. Tears fill my gaze as I think back to when sweet Oaklee was born, and all the lessons she has taught me in her short 7 months of life. Being a young Mom at first was like being in a chopping , wave thrashing ocean. It knocked me down a few times, completely thrashing me with all it's fury; I lost view, I slipped under breathless and exhausted, but what pulled me through was that little glimmer of light, much like a light house to a weary fisherman. That little light in Oaklee's eyes, and that beautiful smile radiated through the pounding waves and somehow brought me to shore, to safety. I watch her grasps her toys, as simple as a spoon, and her eyes fill with wonder and amazement. I watch her learn new things and how she gets joy out of the simple things in life and she constantly amazes me with what she brings out in me. It is humbling to think of where I was, scared and anxiety ridden, to where I am now, excited for each new day and full of love. I cant help but reflect back to some 14 months ago in the fetal position on my bed consumed in self guilt and so ashamed; tears dampened my pillow and face, a sisters embrace and mothers kiss told me everything would be ok. And it is.
I am so grateful that such a sweet spirit was entrusted to me. She is one of my favorite things to kiss goodnight and wake up to in the morning. You know, life can be crazy sometimes, if for sure still is for me and some times I still get knocked down, but it's in those moments when you find yourself, and your potential, and essentially what you were put here for. I never regret a single day of the life I lead now, and I couldn't and wouldn't trade it for anything. I love and embrace being a Mom, and Happy Mothers day to all you hard working, love filled Moms, you have an amazing job, and each day is beautiful--

8 comments:

Whitney & Allen said...

Wow Stacie, I love how you write. It's so beautiful. You are such a great mother and I am so excited for you. It's so great to hear how happy you are. I am so proud of you. I hope all is well!

Bobbilynn said...

Stacie,
What a sweet post. Oaklee has such a great mom! I guess you learned from the best. Tell Sandra and Amie a happy late mothers day.

Whitney & Allen said...

Hey I sent a bridal shower invite to the office. I know you aren't working there still but you and your mom are invited if you would like to come. Its this Saturday at 11. The address is
153 South 925 West
Orem, UT 84058

If you guys want to come I would love to see you again! Have a good day!

Bobbilynn said...

Hey silly, you snuck out today without saying bye! It's a good thing I'll be seeing you tomorrow! I can't wait to hold that little chubsters! (ps. I can call her that because I have a chubster too!)

Meagan Marie said...

I love the imagery of motherhood that you pained, a storm tossed sea. Being a mother is the best! And you are so good at it!! I am so impressed with you and the way YOU handle trials. My favorite line from Juno is when her dad asks her where she has been and she says, "Dealing with things way beyond my maturity level." So funny, so my life! LOL!! I love your guts Stac!! I hope we will really go to lunch one of these days.

Lindsay Henderson said...

Oh how I love her, she is the cutest little girl! Oh, how did you like the Hills finale? We're you dying or what!!

Mitzi said...

Stace... I Love you, every bit of you. I read your mothers day blog before I went to bed tonight and it made me happy, greatful,and happy to think that we are all in this TOGETHER. Life is hard sometimes, but we have each other to count on. I love your Family!!!

Angie said...

You are a great writer, you just gave me chills! Love you Stace, you are a beautiful mother! You have such great perspective on life.