Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Two years ago yesterday Oaklee was born. It blows my mind that she really turned two. Yesterday. I have a two year old now. It's crazy to think where we were two years ago. Actually, to be honest, it's painful to think about where we, more so I, was two years ago. One word still rings sharp and familiar in my ear...Pseduoseizures. If that sounds like a crazy person word, it probably is. But it is real and very scary. Sometimes I wish that I could go back in time and erase those memories and moments... Ones where I should have been contently enjoying Oaklee's little life, and not in a hospital bed staring up at the fake bright lights, with no answers and a world, no actually a universe, of guilt.. I wish I wouldn't have cared so much about what people were thinking, I wish I would have fully embraced my miracle, BUT with that said, I am grateful for what I went through, because without those experiences I never would have gained the priceless wisdom and outlook I have now. I learned and accepted so many things about myself during that time. Yes I am young, you are right supermarket lady that told me I look like I look like I could be Oaklee's older sister. (Should have seen her face when I said, "actually I'm her mom... it was awesome.) And yes it is hard. But I'm all about the moments in life that make it ALL worth it, Like yesterday at Oaklee's birthday, and this priceless photo I snapped with my ghetto camera. I AM embracing it. and it is so WORTH IT.

*Happy Birthday my sweet little girl. I love you.


Angie said...

Stace, you are such an inspiration to me. Seriously. You have been through so much and you've kept such a mature and positive attitude through it all. You really seem to have it all in perspective and I've always looked up to you for the way you've handled what life has thrown at you. You're such a good mom and an example to me! Thanks for showing such courage by sharing your wonderful insight and personal thoughts about motherhood and about life. You are awesome! And happy b-day to Oaklee! I can't believe it's been two years either.

CAMI said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Miss you Oakey, lets get together and play!!!!

Amie said...

Happy Birthday Ho-Dee. You are such a sweet heart in so many ways. Not that you will remember, but thanks for letting Grace open more than half of your presents! You have such an amazing Mom! You are so lucky, hopefully you have been blessed with her writing talent. I agree with Angie Stace well said as always! Keep it up!